Commentary

July 13, 2012

In theaters

Fly Over: Magic Mike: Mike not nearly so magic

by Master Sgt. Cindy Dorfner

I had no real intention of going to see “Magic Mike.” To be honest, I didn’t even know it was a movie until a few days before I saw it. (Hey, don’t judge me. We have two young kids. We watch Dora and Jake and the Neverland Pirates.) Still, when my friend asked me to go at the last minute, I didn’t hesitate.

If you don’t know by now, Mike, played by Channing Tatum (ooooh, la la!), is an entrepreneur hoping to make it big in the custom furniture business. He works several odd jobs, but makes his living as a male dancer, aka stripper, in a seedy, yet well visited, club in Tampa, Fla., called “Xquisite.”

Mike meets Adam, played by Alex Pettyfer, a down-on-his-luck, nothing-ever-seems-to-go-right-for-him kind of guy, at one of his day jobs on a construction site. “The Kid” as he’s later called, doesn’t last a day after he’s accused of stealing a Pepsi, and when his car won’t start, Mike gives him a ride home.

Later, Adam runs into Mike and convinces him to let him tag along at a popular nightclub. Adam quickly realizes Mike is a stripper and he eventually helps Mike drum up business for their strip show that night in exchange for $100.

Inside Xquisite, Mike convinces skeevy club manager, Dallas, too convincingly played by Matthew McConaughey, to let Adam hang around. When one of the other dancers, Tarzan, (blech, by the way) takes too big of a hit off of some performance-enhancing drugs, the guys of Xquisite are scrambling to find someone to take his place. Cue the sappy music and out goes The Kid, who is 19, to dance his skivvies off in a club full of horny, intoxicated women.

So, you can imagine where this goes from here. Adam, who had no money and is living with his sister, Brooke, played by Cody Horn, digs his new lifestyle of women shoving money down his pants. Of course, Mike meets Brooke and despite each of them having other relationships (sort of), you’re led to believe they are attracted to one another.

I didn’t get that because Brooke, who somehow managed to look like a horse in 90 percent of the movie, seemed to have the emotions of a gnat.

She was dull and her facial expressions rarely changed.

The Kid starts liking his rock-star lifestyle a little too much with stripping, boozing and getting high, and gets into trouble during a drug deal gone wrong. Of course his over-protective sister blames Mike for her brother’s poor choices and there’s a bunch of sappy, hidden, why-don’t-they-just-hop-in-the-sack drama between Magic Mike and Brooke.

Tatum (ooooh, la la!) was charming in this movie, but I didn’t sense any kind of chemistry amongst any of the cast, and as you’ve all heard by now, the plot was nearly nonexistent.

The part that ticked me off the most, though? I’ve always loved McConaughey and now he gives me the heebie jeebies, much the same as Tom Cruise.

“Magic Mike” is rated R for sexuality and some violence.




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