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Help available for those grieving the loss of a loved one

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The death of a service member or family member can be a devastating experience, especially in our tight knit military community. Everybody is professionally or personally interrelated to everyone else, and at the end of the day, we all depend on one another to support the mission and each other. Yet whether the death of someone you know is unanticipated or expected, a major loss can leave you feeling disconnected or overwhelmed with emotions. You may also feel frustrated if you do not know the exact circumstances surrounding someone’s death, or unsure of how to reach out to those who are seriously impacted by this loss.

If you haven’t experienced this type of grief before, or even if you have been previously exposed to death, it may help you to understand about typical grief reactions, the process of grief, and what you can do to start healing. Knowing more about what to be  prepared for and what to do can help bring you reassurance  and comfort during this difficult time, as there is nothing  easy about grieving a service member or a family member. After all, the finality of death ends a lifetime, not the relationship.

Responses to grief

Normal grief reactions are as unique as those who experience them and depend on many factors, such as, your personality, coping style, support structure, faith, and nature of the loss. After all, there is no typical response to loss, as there is no such thing as a typical loss, nor is there a defined timetable for grieving. However, there are common symptoms of grief that are specific to the grief process, and they don’t necessarily have to occur in any particular order:

Denial – You may have difficulty believing that the loss really happened or deny the truth because of the intense grief of losing a service member. “It can’t be true, this isn’t happening to me”. The disbelief and numbness may help you to maintain some normalcy and keep you from going into shock.

Anger – You might feel angry with a loved one or at the service member for dying and abandoning you, or angry with a higher power for taking him/her away from you or their family. “Why did they die, who is to blame?” You may be angry about the injustice you feel, even if it was no one’s fault.

Fear – You may feel anxious and insecure about facing life or the workplace without that person. It can trigger fears about your own mortality or about facing new responsibilities alone. You may be wondering, “How will my life be different?” because the future, as you knew it, may now be uncertain and the coinciding feelings can lead to panic attacks.

Guilt – You may feel guilty or regret the things you didn’t say or do, or wonder if you could have prevented someone’s death. “If only I had…” even if there was nothing more that you could have done. You may also have guilt about feeling relief if the person died after a long illness.

Depression – You may feel profound sadness, as it is the most widely experienced symptom of grief. You may also have feelings of despair, emptiness, and loneliness. You may be feeling like “I’m too sad to do anything,” and not be able to get out of bed or enjoy the things that gave you a sense of purpose. Even at its worst and as awful as it feels, this depression should be temporary.

Acceptance – You will feel that you are adjusting to living in a world without the deceased, even if it is not with contentment. “I’m at peace with what happened.” This emotional state is marked with a sense of calm and is the result of having allowed yourself to experience each emotion as you feel it.

The key words here are “as you feel it”. The undercurrent of loss is never fully recognized until you lose someone you know, especially someone that you love. I know—I lived it myself.

My husband died 18 months ago, a seemingly healthy man. He was not “sick” or “old.” His heart just stopped. That was it! There was no warning or warning signs, and from one moment to the next, his lifetime was over! My planned future with him was also over.

Even though I took three weeks off from work, I still found myself living through the roller coaster of grief reactions when I returned to work. I also had difficulty concentrating, and my lack of patience with others was becoming obvious.

At the time, I was a social worker for the Army. I was not a stranger to tragedy, and every death notification I received at work had a story that would generate support and assistance to those affected. But my husband’s death was different. It was personal to me and I couldn’t cope in the same way that I did through supporting others in my job.    

I was perceived as a strong woman, and couldn’t share my vulnerable side at work; that really soft, loving, vulnerable side of me that was only safe to show at home around my husband and daughters.  I had to maintain that strong image due to my position at work. I was always keeping it all together or “doing fine” any time someone asked, yet the social worker inside of me knew that I needed to seek help, receive support and begin to feel better.

It was hard for me to accept help because other people always depended on me for guidance, not the other way around.  However, seeking help increased my credibility as a counselor and as a leader. Transparency was the beginning of the healing process, for feeling safe, and for helping others to feel safer.

My point is this—none of us are exempt from the impact of death or stress regardless of our military/civilian status. At the end of the day we are all human beings, and whether we admit it or not, we are all hoping to find ways to connect with others and feel completely accepted with all of our vulnerabilities, including our response to death.

It’s no secret that the single most important factor in healing from loss is having the support of other people.

As an Air Force family, we all have the responsibility to ensure that all Airmen are supported with resources and feel encouraged using them. So please accept the support that is offered or ask for assistance. Remember, you do not have to feel lonely or feel alone to carry the burden of grief by yourself.   

Recommendations for grief support

*Turn to family members, coworkers and friends – Reach out to the people who care about you, or allow them to support you. Tell them what you need, whether you just want to talk or have the company.

*Seek solace from your faith – Embrace the comfort of religious rituals for mourning or spiritual activities that have meaning to you, such as meditating, praying, or simply attending church. Contact your chaplain for spiritual support.

*Talk with a counselor or chaplain – If your grieving process is overwhelming, contact me (see Resources below) and/or seek a counselor that can help you overcome obstacles to bereavement and healing.

*Join a grief support group – Share your sorrow with others who have experienced the same type of grief. Grief can be lonely even if you have loved ones around.

*Take care of your physical and mental health – Try to exercise, sleep, eat nutritiously and drink plenty of fluids.

Resources

* Psychological Health Services, March ARB,

Elaine Valentine LCSW

2250 Dekay St., Rm 101

(951) 655-5097

Appointments are available during the week and most UTA’s. Walk-ins are welcomed.

*Military One Source

(800) 342-9647

*Psychological Health Advocacy Program (PHAP)

(888) 810-2400

*Resiliency Training,

AFRCWingmanToolkit.org

For more information contact Frank Pavone at 951-655-4551

(Editor’s note: Reprinted for A UTA)

Air Force JROTC cadets graduate Summer Leadership School

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U.S. Air Force photo/Megan Crusher

Fifty Air Force Junior Reserve Officer Training Corps cadets from Rancho Verde High School and Arlington High School graduated from a two week summer leadership school, in the Cultural Resource Center, at March Air Reserve Base, June 26.

(Ret.) Capt. Jeffrey Stein, JROTC instructor, from Rancho Verde High School, gave a special thanks to (Ret.) Col. Nancy Driscoll, chief of public health flight, 452nd bio-environmental, for organizing the event. He also thanked all the personnel at March ARB who helped create, “another great leadership school,” he said.

The program has been a fixture at the base for more than a dozen years. It is designed to enhance students’ preexisting knowledge of the Air Force, introduce them to new opportunities and foster teamwork among the cadets.

The group visited the new firing range, KC-135, C-17, F-16 and Reaper static aircraft, maintenance shops, explosive ordnance disposal, aircrew flight equipment, the Museum and a special obstacle course developed by the March Field Fire Emergency Services.

“The Fire Department was a big hit,” Driscoll said. “They thought it was really cool and had a great time.”

Cadets Jacob Caldwell and Jonathan Torres both agreed the obstacle course was their favorite part of the program, especially maneuvering around in the confined spaces portion, each said.

Cadet Isaac Garcia also spoke highly of the obstacle course, stating his favorite part was trying to squeeze through the tight spaces, despite the difficulty, he said.

“It was nerve-wracking, but I got through it and it gave me more confidence,” Garcia said.

Building confidence was another benefit of the program. Part of building that confidence was instilling the importance of dress and appearance standards and discipline.

Master Sgt. Darryl Willingham, training flight NCO, 452nd blue eagles honor guard, inspected each cadet on proper wear of the uniform and Cadet Alejandra Felix stood out among the cadets in her dress and appearance.

Willingham also held a drill competition, where he gave drill commands to the group, eliminating those who failed to comply properly until only one cadet was left standing.

Cadet Christian Villalobos was the last cadet standing after the drill competition. He and Felix were both recognized in front of their peers and family during the graduation ceremony.

Maj. Adam Walker, pilot, 336th refueling squadron, was the guest speaker during the graduation ceremony and prior to handing out certificates, he congratulated them on their accomplishments and encouraged every student to focus on where they wanted to be years down the road.

“What is important is that you have focus and a goal in mind for what you want to do in your life,” Walker said.

After graduating, Garcia summed up his experience by emphasizing how much he was going to miss everyone and how much he enjoyed the program.

“Even though I just met them these last two weeks, it feels like a lifetime; it’s been a big family, he said. “This has been an experience of a lifetime.”

News Briefs 07/02/2015

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BEACON OMMISSION

The June 26, 2015 newsbrief on page one, “Healthy Lifestyle Festival,” falsely indicated Holly the calf will be at the commissary’s free petting zoo all three days. She will only be there Friday, July 3.

CCAF GRADUATION CEREMONY

Please join us in celebration as the next group of Community College of the Air Force graduates receive their diplomas. The event will be at the Cultural Resource Center on base on July 12, 2015 at 10 a.m. Uniform of the day.

FOURTH COMBAT CAMERA TO INACTIVATE JULY 11

March Air Reserve Base’s 4th Combat Camera Squadron is scheduled to inactivate at a ceremony held in Hangar 452 on July 11, 2015 at 10 a.m. Team March members are invited to attend the ceremony and congratulate them on a job well done.

COMMISSARY NEEDS STOCKERS

The March Commissary is looking for vendor stockers to work between the hours of 6:30 p.m. and 1 a.m. nightly. The pay varies for each vendor. Weekend work is a requirement. No experience. On-the-job training provided. Sign up at the ID desk or email your phone number to cyndy.fults@deca.mil for a phone interview with the hiring official.

FREE BASEBALL, MILITARY MONDAYS

Are you a Military Member or do you know one? The Lake Elsinore Storm, baseball affiliate of the San Diego Padres, proudly offers 4 FREE tickets every Monday for military personnel as a huge thank you for your service. Every valid (current or retiree) military ID card presented at the Storm ticket office will receive this honorable deal.

LOCAL TRAFFIC IMPACTED 4TH OF JULY

Please be aware of the Fourth of July Parade activities that could have traffic impacts on your operations and access to your facilities or the front gate.  The City of Moreno Valley has designated the corner of Cactus Avenue and Veterans Way as the check in location for their 4th of July Parade floats/participants.

Parade check in on Saturday, July 4, begins at 7:30 a.m. and the parade starts at 9:30 a.m.

Parade check-in traffic will be directed to proceed south on Interstate 215 and exit east on Cactus Ave. to Veterans Way. Traffic checking in and coming from other routes will be directed to travel south on Day St. to east on Alessandro to south on Elsworth to east on Cactus to Veterans Way; or south on Graham to west on Cactus to Veterans Way; or west on Cactus from points beyond to Veterans Way. 

In addition, the widening of the eastbound lanes on Cactus Avenue is in progress, so please plan accordingly.

FITNESS CENTER NEWS

The March Fitness Center has received the Wellbeats Virtual Group Fitness Kiosk. This kiosk allows members to participate in virtual fitness classes.

Daily Fitness Schedule is:

Mondays: 6 a.m.—Virtual Fusion Yoga; 10:30 a.m. and 12:15 p.m.—Intro TRX; 11 a.m.—Virtual Spin

Tuesdays: 11 a.m.—Virtual Strength “Fit for Duty;” 12:30 p.m. and 5 p.m.—Circuit Training

Wednesdays: 6 a.m.—Virtual Fusion Yoga; 11 a.m.—Zumba; 12:15 p.m.—Virtual Fusion Yoga; 12:30 p.m. and 5 p.m—Battle Ropes Circuit Training

Thursdays: 11 a.m.—Virtual Spin; 12:15 p.m.— Virtual Strength “Fit for Duty;” 12:30 p.m. and 5 p.m.— Circuit Training

Fridays: 10 a.m.— Zumba; 10:30 a.m. and 5 p.m.— Intermediate TRX; 11:15 a.m.— Virtual Cardio

UTA Saturdays: (A UTA) 5 p.m.—Virtual Strength “Fit for Duty;” (B UTA) 5-7 p.m.—Pick-up Basketball

Daily activities include: 

For more information, visit the Fitness Center or call 951-655-2284.

GRILL NIGHT AT SALLY’S ALLEY

Every Wednesday night starting at 4 p.m., Sally’s Alley is open for business with Grill Night. Sally’s Alley is also now open every Pre-UTA Thursday at 4 p.m. For more information, call them at 951-653-2121.

THE 452ND AIR MOBILITY WING’S 2015 MILITARY BALL

The 452nd Air Mobility Wing’s 2015 Military Ball is scheduled for Saturday, November 21. This year’s location remains the Riverside Convention Center, and this year we will have a Holiday Theme. This will be a fantastic evening and one you do not want to miss.  Tickets are still $65 per person. See your first sergeant to purchase tickets or contact SMSgt. Griffin at 951-655-3999. There are 40 rooms available at the Marriott for $110 each, and 50 rooms available at the Hyatt Place for $105 each (the Hyatt Place price includes breakfast). When you call to make a reservation, mention the 2015 Military Ball to get the correct rate. You can contact The Marriott at 1-800-228-9290 or (951)784-8000 for reservations and The Hyatt Place at  1-888-553-1300 or (951)321-3500.

Airmen attend second annual Norton-March reunion

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U.S. Air Force photo/Senior Airman Russell S. McMillan

Approximately 60 current and retired Airmen and their families attended the second annual Norton-March Aircrew Association reunion here, June 20. Association members traveled to March Air Reserve Base from all over the U.S. to reconnect with past Airmen, participate in a base tour and attend various social activities.

“It originally started about 20-30 years ago over small barbecue gatherings,” said event organizer and retired Master Sgt. Tom Block, as he referred to how large the reunion has become.

Airmen from Norton Air Force Base continued to keep in touch after the base was selected for base realignment and eventual closure in 1994, Block said. Aircraft and equipment were transferred to March Air Force Base until it too was selected for realignment and officially became March ARB, April 1, 1996.

The intent of the reunion is to bring together all the aircrew and support personnel that flew out of Norton AFB and March ARB on a consistent basis, explained Block. The now tax exempt organization has doubled in membership in the past two years and is expected to grow more.

“I used to fly with all these guys from 1979 to 2007, said retired Senior Master Sgt. Frank Shaw, who attended the reunion for the first time. He was a loadmaster with the 729th Airlift Squadron and explained he was one of the first reservists to qualify on the C-17 Globemaster III in 2005. “It’s great to see everyone again.”

During their tour of the base, NMAA members visited and learned about the C-17 Globemaster III, KC-135 Stratotanker and MQ-9 Reaper. Many members were very interested and impressed with the aircraft March ARB maintained, for many were more familiar with the C-141 Starlifter, which was eventually retired in 2006.

“It will definitely make more folks interested [seeing the MQ-9 Reaper] and recruit for a younger crowd,” commented retired Senior Master Sgt. Frank Owens regarding any current recruiting efforts needed.

“I have worked with many of them over half their life, said Lt. Col. Ken Goode, chief of mission control, 729th Airlift Squadron, March ARB. “Their work and career was here at March or Norton. This reunion was a way to stay connected, like an alumni group.”

“We thank Lt. Col. Goode, the 452 Aeromedical Evacuation Squadron, 452nd Operations Group, 729th Airlift Squadron and the base commander on down for all the support,” Block said.

The NMAA will be scheduling future reunions every two years and intends to have them held at March ARB, explained Block. But to assist with managing the growth and operations of the nonprofit association, the next reunion will be planned by a seven-member planning group chaired by the former 452nd AMW commander, Col. Timothy J. Wrighton.

To learn more about the organization, future reunions and possible volunteer opportunities, please visit: http://www.norton-marchaircrew.org/.

Halle Berry Connects With the U.S. Military

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Photos courtesy CBS/Cliff Watts

Finding out someone values and appreciates what you do can keep you floating at cloud level for weeks, especially when the someone is actress Halle Berry and you find out what message she has for the U.S. military serving overseas.

“There are few things I do that are more important in so far as what I do as a public person as when I go on my tours overseas,” Berry said during an interview with the American Forces Network (AFN) Broadcast Center’s Rock Grant.  “I know it’s so worth my while to let them know they are not forgotten and to say thank you.  It gives me so much pleasure,” she said.

Berry frequently visits American military personnel overseas on USO tours.  Once she even surprised a sailor in Italy by taking part in his re-enlistment ceremony by the famed Trevi fountain.

Berry voiced her latest message of support for the U.S. military when Grant visited her in Hollywood at an event promoting upcoming CBS TV shows.   AFN is airing a number of CBS TV shows for the overseas military audience, including the second season of Berry’s science fiction show “Extant.” Grant also interviewed stars from the thriller “Under the Dome,” and the new drama “Zoo,” based on the best-selling book by James Patterson.

The AFN Broadcast Center, located right here in Riverside, has a mission is to provide overseas military personnel and their families many of the same hit TV shows they would see if they were serving in the States.   “Many stars like to connect themselves and their show with the military,” said Grant.  “You know someone like Halle Berry means it.  She’s gone overseas, met with troops and spent time with them.  She doesn’t have to do that.” 

“Some stars had no idea their shows were seen by U.S. military communities overseas on AFN,” said Grant.  “When they find out that AFN is the military’s radio and TV network overseas, they want to use us to get out messages of support.” 

Some stars, such as Ethan Hawke, Reese Witherspoon and Julianne Moore, have family members who were or still are in the military.  Other actors who play military roles in shows and movies study for roles with military advisories, gain renewed respect for the services and want Americans in uniform to hear from them as people, not just movie stars. 

While Grant can’t deny he enjoys the chance to meet people like Halle Berry, there is something else he gets out of it.  “As prior service military, one of the best parts of my job is that I can get to help bring up the morale of my brothers and sisters whenever I get a message of support for them letting them know they are appreciated and they are missed.  That can be huge; especially when they are in far off places, or serving overseas without their family.”

Charles “Chuck” Flood, Satellite Services, Inc., passed away unexpectedly, June 17, 2015

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Courtesy photo

Flood had been employed by SSI since February, 2005. He had been the fire truck mechanic, responsible for over 15 fire fighting vehicles at Edwards Air Force Base and was currently a heavy equipment mechanic for vehicle maintenance at March Air Reserve Base.

Flood was a United States Air Force vet and avid supporter of American Legion Post 574, Moreno Valley, Calif. He was a former Post Commander and the current President of Post 574 American Legion Motor Cycle Riders.

“The American Legion riders made regular runs in support of vets at the Loma Linda VA center,” said Master Sgt. Lance Augustine, loadmaster, 729th airlift squadron.

Flood is survived by his wife Sherri and two sons, Trevor and Josh.

“Chuck will be greatly missed by all of his friends and family,” said Darrell Parobek, transportation manager, SSI.

MARKETING BRIEFS

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FREE Summer Movie Series

Presented by the Single Airman Program and Outdoor Recreation

Movies are shown on a giant outdoor screen in the park to next bldg. 434 (Outdoor Rec/Tickets & Tours).  All movies begin at dusk.

July 11 (A-UTA)

Maggie (PG-13)

July 25 (B-UTA)

Survivor (PG-13)

August 8 (A-UTA)

Woman In Gold (PG-13)

August 22 (B-UTA)

The Divergent Series:  Insurgent (PG-13)

September 12 (A-UTA)

McFarland USA (PG)

Call Outdoor Recreation at 951-655-2816 for more information.

Bonanza Bingo Starts July 6!

Join the Club and be eligible to win bonus prizes!

First game cash prize starts at $25.  Bonus prize for Club member winner is a $50 gas card.

Bonanza Bingo cards are available for purchase from the Club Cashier cage or the Bars during normal operating hours.  The cost is $1 for club members, $2 for non-members.  The type of bingo and numbers will be displayed weekly.  Match the numbers against card purchased and return winning card to the Hap Arnold Club Cashier/Bartender to receive a prize.

Winning numbers will be displayed at the following locations:

– Base Marquee

– Hap Arnold Club Cage

– Wright Brothers Bar (HDTV)

– ODR/Tickets & Tours (HDTV)

– www.MarchFSS.com

– www.Facebook.com/MarchFSS

Visit www.MarchFSS.com/Bingo for eligibility and a list of complete rules.  Call the Hap Arnold Club at 951-653-2121 for more information.

Upcoming Outdoor Adventures

Anyone with an ID card is authorized to participate but single Airmen and those returning from deployment (RecOn) have priority in these activities.

18 July: Zip lining and Fly boarding – Big Bear, $52

18 July: Trampoline, Miniature Golf & Go Karting, $15

1 Aug: Hang Gliding – Devore, $45

15 Aug: Couples Hot Air Ballooning – Temecula, $20

29 Aug: Bungee Jumping – Bridge to Nowhere, $32

5 Sep: Couples Sunset Sailing – San Diego, $35

19 Sep: Skydiving – Perris, $50

26 Sep: Horseback Riding – Big Bear, $42

Call Outdoor Recreation at 951-655-2816 for more information.

The Motown Review Dinner & Show

Hap Arnold Club Ballroom

August 29 – Tickets Now Available!

Tickets are now available for purchase from the Hap Arnold Club cashier cage.  Cost is $35 for Club members and $37 for non-members.  Dinner will be at 6:30 p.m.  Show times are 8 p.m. and 9:15 p.m. featuring the Men of Motown.

This is a popular show and tickets are selling fast!

Reserve your seats by calling the Club at 951-653-2121!

Menu:  Cornish Game Hen, Garden Green Salad, Rice Pilaf, Seasoned Green Beans, Cream de Menthe Parfait & Coffee.

Is Your Business Reaching Your Local Military Market?

Expose your business to over 9,500 potential customers at March Air Reserve Base and over 50,000 Retirees within a 50 mile radius outside the base through Commercial Sponsorship!

Whether you’re looking to boost sales, increase awareness or build client relations with military consumers, FSS provides the opportunity to build a binding link with our highly targeted and sponsor-loyal members by becoming a year-round supporter.

What’s in it for you?  The Commercial Sponsorship program can allow you the opportunity to not only reach a stable and highly paid workforce, but also allow you the ability to receive some great benefits for your support such as; logo recognition, event participation, booth/banner display and more!

Interested?  Contact 452d Force Support Squadron Marketing at (951) 655-2801 for more information.  Advertising opportunities are also available!

This is a solicitation for commercial sponsorship by a Nonappropriated Fund Instrumentality of the United States Government. It does not obligate appropriated funds or nonappropriated funds of the Government.

March honor guard gives final honors to America’s veterans

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Watchara Phomicinda — LA Daily News staff photographer

(Final in a two-part series on honor guard, reprinted with permission)

Gerald Morgan knew this day was coming when doctors told him a few weeks ago that the cancer had swept through his dad’s body.

It had just been 18 months prior that the initial diagnosis was first made. It seemed unfathomable. This was the man who, when Morgan was just a boy, pulled the car over at the scene of an accident on a Los Angeles freeway and began yanking people from the wreckage.

Didn’t the cancer know that it couldn’t mess with the guy who bandaged the woman who was bleeding profusely while he also flagged down cars for help? Didn’t it know he served in the U.S. Air Force in Southeast Asia — stopping smugglers and dangerous human traffickers just as the Vietnam War was starting? Didn’t cancer know this was his dad. Tough. Ten-feet-tall in a 6-foot frame. He never stopped fighting. But he was also a realist.

“He was never afraid of dying,” Morgan said. “He was confident in his faith. He flat-out told us that when his time was up, it was up.”

Time ran out for Airman Roland Morgan on May 8. He was 77.

The funeral was set for May 19 at Riverside National Cemetery. Morgan woke up early, put on his dark suit and ate his usual breakfast of fried eggs and toast. He thought about how this day was finally here. It would be a military funeral with honors. He’d attended a few before. He’d seen them in movies. But this was different.

This felt like the first time.

The hour drive from his home in Orange to Riverside was a quiet blur. At the cemetery, numbness took root as Staff Sgt. Zakia Webster walked toward him. She offered her condolences. She told him how she — along with Senior Airman Joseph Trujillo and Staff Sgt. Anahi Ledezma — would be conducting funeral honors.

Webster walked back to the white van and opened the door and looked at Trujillo and Ledezma.

“Let’s go,” Webster said.

Attention to detail

Ledezma had been battling illness for days and the cough just wouldn’t let up. What if while she lifted the bugle to her lips, she started hacking? She had promised to have a good breakfast this morning, but she only had two granola bars. What if she felt weak? Her uniform was crisp, her shoes were impossibly shiny and black. She practiced the slow move of raising the silver horn to her lips.

But as she did, the collar of her blue shirt irritated her throat. She wished she had brought some throat lozenges.

“I’m more nervous than I thought,” she said.

Trujillo had his big scare the night before.

He’d gone home and washed his white gloves for his first funeral service. The white gloves were critical. Master Sgt. Darryl Willingham had told them so during their training.

“The gloves are the only thing that can touch eternity and come back,” Willingham said.

Trujillo washed them, put them in the dryer to shrink them so they’d fit his hands. But when he pulled them out, they were streaked with dark lines. He panicked. He darted off to Men’s Warehouse to buy some new white gloves while his wife and his mother-in-law tried to fix them.

She rewashed them and used some bleach. It worked. The Men’s Warehouse gloves stayed behind.

Trujillo had pictured how the funeral would go. The slow steps with the casket would be at just the right cadence. The salute would be perfect. The flag fold would be just as Willingham had taught him. It would be handed to a loved one and stay folded that way forever.

He didn’t know who was being buried today other than the man’s name: Airman Roland Morgan. Trujillo had joined the honor guard to pay respects to his grandpa, who was buried in the same cemetery as the one Morgan would be buried in. Missing his grandfather’s funeral was a regret. He had allowed himself a quick thought about him when Webster drove the van through the gates of Riverside National Cemetery. But after that, Morgan and his family were the only things that mattered.

He got out of the van, checked his gloves and his hat in the tinted reflection of the van window. The ribbons and pins on his jacket exact to the honor guard’s dress code. He had measured them with a ruler.

Ledezma walked off to a far corner away from the shelter with rows of benches and near a row of volunteers with rifles who would fire the volleys. The flag-draped casket was slid out of the dark hearse. Trujillo and Webster stood stiff and saluted.

Final salutes

The family flinched as a succession of three rounds of volleys was fired.

Morgan started to tear up. Ledezma raised the bugle to her lips. The first notes of taps began to play. The sisters and their mother wept.

The 44-year-old thought about his father and how he loved to restore cars. He once rebuilt a Model T. Even as the cancer spread, he was still waxing his car up until a week before he died.

“He probably rebuilt more cars than all of us have ever owned in our lifetimes,” Kym Carmichael, Roland Morgan’s daughter, said. “He was a perfectionist. It appealed to him.”

Gerald Morgan thought about the family of Vietnamese refugees his father helped gain citizenship and settle in Southern California.

“One of them is a doctor now,” Morgan said. “They’re all still here.”

Trujillo knew none of this. His job wasn’t to mourn, but to provide honor and respect. He said that even during training, he’d clear his mind of everything but the task in front of him.

He started to fold the flag, each triangle bringing him a step closer to Webster holding the other end. It was harder to do wearing the gloves and the flag was starched, unlike the practice flags he’d been trained on.

Webster watched closely. So much depended on Trujillo’s fold. If the folds were long, it wouldn’t leave enough flag to tuck into the edge and make a crisp triangle. He’d have to unfurl it and refold. It’s one of the worst nightmares for an honor guard.

Webster remembered her first funeral. She had to do a refold.

“It was horrible,” she said. “Just horrible.”

Trujillo kept going.

Fold. Fold. Step.

Fold. Fold. Step.

Fold. Fold. Step.

His hands trembled slightly and, on the 11th fold, had to stop and adjust before continuing. The 13th fold was the end and Webster tucked the blue into the pocket created by the folds. She smoothed out the edges as Trujillo clutched it.

Away from the flag folding, Ledezma had quietly walked back to the van. With slow, deliberate, steps, it looked like she was right on cue.

‘I couldn’t stop coughing once I got into the van,” she said.

Webster took the flag after Trujillo presented it to her. She made the deliberate walk to the widow and said the words of thanks on behalf of a grateful nation. Bettina Morgan trembled as she held the flag.

Morgan teared up again. There was a final salute, and Webster and Trujillo left the family alone.

“This will stick with me forever,” Morgan said.

Trujillo would do three more funerals that week and, over the next three years, will do hundreds more.

But Tuesday was for Morgan. For grandpa. For all time.

Fitness at a glance – It’s all about timing!

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Courtesy photo

Ever notice how your anxiety tends to increase around your fitness assessment time (FA)? It is amazing that in 20 minutes (or less) your FA is over, but your anxiety level has cumulatively increased over the 30-90 days (or more) preparing for the FA! There has got to be a cure, and I think I have the answer! Preparation is the key! I do a lot of cross-training to prepare for my fitness assessment, such as mountain bike riding (recently toured Oak Glenn).

Preparing for the FA does seem to help decrease the anxiety level, but the trick is to prepare often. How many days to prepare will depend on your fitness level, but the AF fitness exam isn’t a “piece of cake” without preparation. Age doesn’t factor in for passing as much as preparation, meaning if you don’t prepare, that you have a higher chance of failing (or not passing) in more than one category.

Gone are the days that you are able to “pass” without preparing for your FA. When it comes to passing your FA, it’s all about timing! Lowering your anxiety level is easily accomplished by preparing early, especially if your FA is in the summer months. In preparing for summer-type weather FAs, make sure you are hydrated (before and after) and stretching (before and after) to decrease soreness. If you are preparing for winter-type weather FAs, make sure you are hydrated (before and after) and stretching (before and after) to decrease soreness. Notice, no matter what type of weather you are preparing for your fitness assessment, you need to hydrate and stretch before and after, which lessens possible injuries occurring during your fitness assessments (and as your endorphins kick in)!

Did you know that you can move your fitness assessment month? If your workout mantra is better in cooler months vs summer, then consider moving your FA up by preparing to take your FA a couple of months early! For example, if you had a previous FA in Jun, and now the next FA is in Dec (semi-annual), instead of agonizing and dieting after Thanksgiving, schedule to take the FA in October! Now, you can relax with your family and friends throughout the holiday season and set your goals for accomplishing your next fitness assessment in March (semi-annual membership) or next October (annual membership)!  Like I said, it’s all about timing!

Looking for Glitter in the Dirt

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Photo by Charlie Gill

Can a hobby make you rich? Maybe. Mark Payne is an engineer at the American Forces Network (AFN) Broadcast Center at March Air Reserve Base. Among other things he makes sure the Television Operations center runs smoothly.  It is here the network is monitored and overseas American military community viewers call in to set up their decoder, aim their dish and register for service.

Mark arrived at Riverside last year from Italy.  For now, his family remains behind in Vicenza, Italy area.  So Mark decided he needed to find something to keep him occupied — something interesting. Searching for California gold seemed like a good idea.  “I wanted to find something that was inexpensive,” he said.  “And at the same time I wanted to be outdoors.” 

Mark travels around Southern California to find what he is searching for, places like Lytle Creek and Bautista Placer.  He even joined several prospector clubs. As a member, he is able to travel to different claims and pan to his heart’s content.  The equipment he uses is simple: a shovel, buckets, separators and a sluice.  The technique for panning for gold may not be rocket science, but it is science. “Gold is more than 19 times heavier than water, so gravity just does its work and it drifts to the bottom,” he explains.  But searching for the “mother-load” is not without its potential dangers. “You’ve got snakes out there and you have to be careful around the rocks.  You have to make sure you can get back because there may not be cell phone service, and walking may not be an option,” he said.

Mark also says there is a great deal of camaraderie among the prospectors. “I’ve met some of the greatest guys. Some look like the old prospectors you read about in books.  They have great stories to tell and will even help you out by pointing out some areas where gold might likely be found.”

But what about the payoff? Is Mark Payne getting rich from his hobby? “I figure for every two tons of soil I’ve moved, I made about two dollars.”  But what would he do if he found one of those big nuggets worth thousands of dollars.”  He has a simple answer, “Look for more.” 

So Mark continues his weekends on the back roads of Southern California with a hobby that brings him in contact with characters out of the history books. He gets to see the sights of California. It isn’t expensive and it is interesting.  The hobby might not make him rich. Or, it just might. It depends on how much value you place on adventure.