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Asian American, Pacific Islander Heritage Month

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content from DEOMI.org/U.S. Army photo

Brigadier General Viet Luong became the first Vietnamese-born general officer in the U.S. military on August 6, 2014. Luong was nine years old when his family escaped Vietnam the day before Saigon fell in 1975. His father, who served in the Vietnamese Marine Corps, inspired him to join the military. He also credits his experience of escaping Vietnam on the USS Hancock with making him deeply patriotic with a desire to give back to the nation that provided him with great opportunities.

Knowing signs of hearing loss, speech disorder are vital to well-being

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May is Better Hearing and Speech Month, where we seek to raise awareness about communication disorders and learning how to recognize their signs. Below are things you should know, from the American Speech and Language Hearing Association.

Know the signs of hearing loss in children:

•Lack of attention to sounds (birth-1 year)

•Does not respond when you call his/her name (7 months-1 year)

•Does not follow simple directions (1-2 years)

•Shows delays in speech and language development (birth-3 years)

•Pulls or scratches at his/her ears

•Difficulty achieving academically, especially in reading and math

•Socially isolated and unhappy in school

•Persistent ear discomfort after exposure to loud noise (regular and constant listening to electronics at high volumes)

What can you do as a parent?

•See an audiologist if your child did not pass the newborn hearing screening

•See an audiologist if you have any concerns about your child’s hearing (some hearing losses can begin months or years after birth)

•Ask your audiologist about the need for hearing aids or cochlear implants

Adult signs of hearing loss are:

•Inattentiveness

•Buzzing or ringing in their ears

•Failure to respond to spoken words

•Persistent ear discomfort after exposure to loud noise (regular and constant listening to electronics at high volumes)

•Muffled hearing

•Constant frustration hearing speech and other sounds

•Avoids conversation

•Social isolation

•Depression

Know the signs of language disorders in children:

•Does not smile or interact with others (birth and older)

•Does not babble (4-7 months)

•Makes only a few sounds or gestures, like pointing (7-12 months)

•Does not understand what others say (7 months-2 years)

•Says only a few words (12-18 months)

•Words are not easily understood (18 months-2 years)

•Does not put words together to make sentences (1.5-3 years)

•Has trouble playing and talking with other children (2-3 years)

•Has trouble with early reading and writing skills (2.5-3 years)

What can you do as a parent?

•Listen and respond to your child

•Talk, read, and play with your child

•Talk with your child in the language you are most comfortable using

•Know it is good to teach your child to speak a second language

•Talk about what you are doing and what your child is doing

•Use a lot of different words with your child

•Use longer sentences as your child gets older

•Have your child play with other children

Know the signs of speech sound disorders in children:

•Says p, b, m, h, and w incorrectly in words (1-2 years)

•Says k, g, f, t, d, and n incorrectly in words (2-3 years)

•Produces speech that is unclear, even to familiar people (2-3 years)

What can you do as a parent?

•Say the sounds correctly when you talk—it is okay if your child makes some mistakes with sounds

•Do not correct speech sounds—it is more important to let your child keep talking

Know the signs of stuttering (disfluency) in children:

•Struggles to say sounds or words (2.5-3 years)

•Repeats first sounds of words—”b-b-b-ball” for “ball” (2.5-3 years)

•Pauses a lot while talking (2.5-3 years)

•Stretches sounds out—”f-f-f-f-farm” for “farm” (2.5-3 years)

What can you do as a parent?

•Give your child time to talk

•Do not interrupt or stop your child while he or she is speaking

•See an SLP if you are concerned (Many young children stutter for a short period of time. In most cases, the stuttering will stop.)

Know the signs of a voice disorder in children:

•Uses a hoarse or breathy voice

•Uses a nasal-sounding voice

What can you do as a parent?

•See a doctor if your child sounds hoarse or breathy or has a nasal-sounding voice

•Tell your child not to shout or scream

•Keep your child away from cigarette smoke

Adult signs of speech and language disorders are:

•Struggles to say sounds or words (stuttering)

•Repetition of words or parts of words (stuttering)

Quarterly Awards: best of the best highlighted

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Master Sgt. Christopher Jugas, 452nd Security Forces Squadron, non-commissioned officer in charge of training, March Air Reserve Base.

Tech. Sgt. Ruben Davis, 752nd MPS, mental health craftsman, March Air Reserve Base.

Senior Airman Dominique Acuna, 452nd AMXS, integrated flight control specialist, March Air Reserve Base.

NCO speaks on career, education

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DIGITAL CAMERA

Courtesy photo

Tech. Sgt. Freemont Dea, 452nd Aerospace Medicine Squadron, March Air Reserve Base, Calif., speaks to students at Liberty Elementary School, Riverside, as part of the school’s career day, Friday, June 15, 2015. Liberty is a No Excuses University school, which operates under the philosophy that all students can attain their dream of attending college. They were one of the first seventy schools nationwide to adopt the program and now there are more than 300 schools participating. A No Excuses University is an endeavor that requires extensive participation to ensure success, and part of that endeavor draws volunteers from the surrounding communities. Dea and other Team March members, as well as community volunteers, discussed careers and education with students hoping to encourage the students to stay in school and work toward their goals.

Collins couple joins KISS’ Gene Simmons to sing national anthem

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Courtesy photo

Staff Sgt. Jeff Collins (right), 4th Combat Camera Squadron, March Air Reserve Base, his wife Jennifer, a former squadron member, as well as Capt. Bobby Doyle, Los Angeles Air Force Base, perform the national anthem with KISS front-man, Gene Simmons, at the SEAL-Naval Special Warfare Family Foundation’s second annual dinner gala Saturday, May 16th, 2015, aboard the Battleship USS Iowa in San Pedro Harbor, California.

Robert Sekula, man of many hats

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Robert Sekula, a broadcast journalist/producer working at the American Forces Network Broadcast Center, one of March Air Reserve Base’s mission partners, wears many hats.

Robert Sekula’s ever-present hat is as much a part of him as a toe or finger, but his top cover doesn’t do him justice. He should be wearing eight or nine nested together.

Sekula, a broadcast journalist for the American Forces Network (AFN) Broadcast Center, March Air Reserve Base, is a one-man TV station. He can shoot, edit, direct, voice, light and write. Versatility became necessity when he worked in Hollywood.

“It was feast or famine, working or unemployment,” said Sekula. “If I wanted to work, I needed to be flexible.” And work Sekula did. He scored loads of gigs, including “Walker, Texas Ranger,” “The Chase,” “The Dentist,” “Standoff,” “The Journeyman” and different music videos.

Unlike many in Hollywood, he didn’t focus on one narrow specialty. “I worked hundreds of big-to-no budget shoots as a production assistant, assistant splinter unit director, audio technician or lighting director.” Sekula felt his experience made him a better director. “Wearing all the hats helped me, as a director, understand what I was asking each specialist to do.”

Still, there were gaps of no work and no cash, so Sekula looked into serving with the Navy. “They offered me any job I wanted,” said Sekula. “I asked for broadcast journalist, and they said any job but that one, how about nukes?” 

He eventually did get the broadcaster offer he wanted, graduating from boot camp the day he turned 30 in 2001. “They called me old man, grandpa, you name it,” Sekula laughed. “But I still out-ran just about everybody. My instructor called them the couch potatoes of Generation Nintendo.”

Sekula attended broadcast journalist training, and the military amplified his versatility by teaching him something new:  how to shoot and edit his own video. “The military does a great job of teaching you how to be a jack-of-all-trades journalist,” Sekula said. 

After attending broadcast journalist training he spent a bit under seven years in the Navy,  with assignments that included the Navy Media Center, and on the first U.S. aircraft carrier to  visit Sierra Leone in decades. 

He eventually left the Navy and worked as a federal government employee at AFN Europe’s regional production center in Vicenza, Italy, where he produced popular “Europass” segments that showed the audience how to get to, and enjoy, popular off-duty destinations. The chief of Europe’s regional productions at the time, Charlie Gill, chose Sekula to lead AFN’s Summer Paralympics coverage in London in 2012.

“He was in charge of a team that produced several reports a day under strict deadlines to make the stories relevant,” said Gill. “He also produced a very touching and uplifting final special report that tied together the stories of wounded warriors who were competing.”

When Sekula left Europe in 2013 for a position at the AFN Broadcast Center he was routinely chosen for high-profile productions. Sekula’s current boss, Kyle Hammitt, echoed Gill’s comments. “Robert can do it all.” 

Sekula shot and produced products from the 2014 Grammy’s, The Guys Choice Awards and Comic Con in San Diego, California.

While at Comic Con, Sekula melded his knowledge of Hollywood, production and the military to arrange for Wounded Warriors to get passes to attend the highly-coveted event, which had been sold out for close to a year. 

Sekula’s helpful spirit extends to his personal life as well. He recently moved into a small apartment to be able to afford to send his wife Jessica to Texas to help take care of a relative with severe health needs.

In all his life’s experiences, Sekula recognizes he’s a hard guy to typecast. “I’ve reinvented myself more than anyone I know,” he said, peering out from behind his AFN hat. That extends to his hobby as a rock musician.

Robert “Multi-Hatted” Sekula is a lead singer, song writer, guitarist and keyboardist. Yup, four more hats.

Recruits swear in at Military Appreciation Night

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Kevin Mitterholzer
Lt. Col. Erin Meinders, commander, 362nd Recruiting Squadron, swears in 13 new recruits to the Air Force Reserve, during the Inland Empire 66ers Military Appreciation Night at San Manuel Stadium in San Bernardino, California, May 16, 2015. The newly sworn-in Airmen from as far as Victorville, Riverside, and Upland, will be shipping off to participate in Basic Military Training at Joint Base San Antonio, Texas very soon.

Thirteen recruits from as far as Victorville, Riverside and Upland, traveled to San Manuel Stadium, San Bernardino, California, home of the Inland Empire 66ers Baseball, Saturday, May 16, to take the oath and become the newest Airmen in the U.S. Air Force Reserve.

The 362nd Recruiting Squadron, March Air Reserve Base, conducted a swearing-in ceremony on the infield at the stadium on Armed Forces Day to kick off the 66ers’ Military Appreciation Night.

The 66ers, who have held the annual event for more than 10 years, provided free tickets to all service members and veterans, in honor of their military service, for the game against the Lancaster Jethawks.

“It’s always important to recognize the military in any way we can,” said Jarrett Stark, 66ers group sales account executive. “Military Appreciation Night is just one way that we can do that. It’s important for us to show that we support the military and everything they do for us.”

Local recruiters from the Air Force, Army, and Marine Corps were also there to talk to game attendees and hand out a variety of promotional items.

“Events like this give (our) recruiters an opportunity to give back to the local communities that support and welcome us into their cities, in addition to being able to display a positive example of the Air Force,” said Tech Sgt. April Silveira, 362 RS recruiter.

The newly sworn-in Airmen will be shipping off to participate in Basic Military Training at Joint Base San Antonio, Texas very soon.

“We’re grateful to the Inland Empire 66ers for allowing us to showcase the Air Force’s newest recruits,” said Lt. Col. Erin Meinders, 362 RS commander. “These are the Inland Empire’s sons and daughters. The public swear-in helps build awareness with the local community on career opportunities with the Air Force.”

The 66ers organization, in partnership with Wells Fargo, also sponsor the Hometown Hero Program, where each home game they recognize a military veteran or an individual who does great things in the community to be highlighted during the game. Several Team March members have been honored through this program during the past few seasons.

News Briefs 05/15/2015

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BEACON CORRECTION

The photo identification/dates for Astronaut Ellison S. Onizuka, June 24, 1946-Jan. 28, 1986 and Congressman Daniel K. Inouye, Sep. 7, 1924-Dec. 17, 2012 were incorrect in last week’s issue. We apologize for the error.

IRWINDALE SPEEDWAY HONORS ARMED FORCES

Irwindale Speedway’s Armed Forces Appreciation Night is May 16th in honor of all active and retired military and their family members. Grand Marshal is WWII vet Carl Harstine, an expert marksman and rifleman in the U.S. Marines, on his 90th birthday year. Military/military retirees enter free with ID. March military members/military retirees may email megan.crusher.1@us.af.mil (by May 15) to be put on the March will call list for tickets. Email rank or retired rank/name/squadron/number of tickets requested. Tickets must be picked up by member (with ID)  listed in email on May 16 at will call. Each person (infants included) must be ticketed. If you miss the deadline, you can go to the speedway with your ID to get your ticket. Irwindale Speedway is located at 500 Speedway Dr., Irwindale, Calif.

RIVERSIDE NATIONAL CEMETERY MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND EVENTS

American Flag Placement – May 23, 8 a.m.

Several thousand Southern Californians will converge on Riverside National Cemetery with the goal of placing an American Flag on each of the nearly 180,000 gravesites. To volunteer contact Mary Ellen Gruendyke at (951) 640-3935 or maryellengruendyke@gmail.com.

The Roll Call Project – May 24, 9 a.m.

For the sixth consecutive year, volunteers will gather at the cemetery flagpole plaza to read aloud the names of the more than 5,000 Veterans who have been interred between June 1, 2014 and May 24, 2015. To volunteer contact J.C. Strauss at (951) 992-8349 or jcstrauss@live.com.

Memorial Day Ceremony – A Salute to Fallen Heroes, May 25, 11 a.m.

Introductions will be followed by Bradley Phillips, executive director of the National Cemetery Administration’s Memorial Service Network 5 as the keynote speaker. There will be a special presentation by American Legion high school oratorical scholarship program two-time winner, Amir Shahatit, who will read his award-winning essay. Musical accompaniment for the program will begin at 10:30 a.m. by the Riverside Concert Band. Military honors will be provided by the California National Guard.

FREE CAMP FOR MILITARY/VETERAN FAMLIES

Military/Veteran families: Free Family Camp is June 8-12 in Texas. Eligibility requirements are that children must be at least 8 years old and that one member of the immediate family must be military (active, Reserve, Guard or veteran). Activities include rock wall, zipline, games, swimming, kayaking, family bonding, challenge course, archery, rifle shooting and more. To register, visit https://campscui.active.com/orgs/Texas4HConferenceCenter# and look for “SESSION TYPE” along the left column of the page the click on “Family Camp Registrations.”  Hurry – it fills up fast!!

EXCHANGE TO REWARD MILITARY PETS WITH $900 IN SHOPPING SPREES

The Army & Air Force Exchange Service is “throwing a bone” to military pets and their owners in the Patriot Pet contest. Through May 29, authorized Exchange shoppers can submit a photo of their pet along with a short description of their four-legged friend. Submissions will be judged on creativity, uniqueness, quality and effectiveness in conveying the loyalty and companionship of pets belonging to military members. The grand prize winner will “fetch” a $500 Exchange gift card. Additional prizes include a $100 gift card for two runners up and four third place winners will receive a $50 gift card. To participate in the Patriot Pet contest, military shoppers can visit www.shopmyexchange.com/patriot-family and submit a photo of their pet (or pets) along with a 50-word or less description. Entries must include name, address, phone number, date of birth and pet’s information (name, breed or type of pet).

FITNESS CENTER NEWS

The March Fitness Center has received the Wellbeats Virtual Group Fitness Kiosk. This kiosk allows members to participate in virtual fitness classes.

Daily Fitness Schedule is:

Mondays: 6 a.m.—Virtual Fusion Yoga; 10:30 a.m. and 12:15 p.m.—Intro TRX; 11 a.m.—Virtual Spin

Tuesdays: 11 a.m.—Virtual Strength “Fit for Duty;” 12:30 p.m. and 5 p.m.—Circuit Training

Wednesdays: 6 a.m.—Virtual Fusion Yoga; 11 a.m.—Zumba; 12:15 p.m.—Virtual Fusion Yoga; 12:30 p.m. and 5 p.m—Battle Ropes Circuit Training

Thursdays: 11 a.m.—Virtual Spin; 12:15 p.m.— Virtual Strength “Fit for Duty;” 12:30 p.m. and 5 p.m.— Circuit Training

Fridays: 10 a.m.— Zumba; 10:30 a.m. and 5 p.m.— Intermediate TRX; 11:15 a.m.— Virtual Cardio

UTA Saturdays: (A UTA) 5 p.m.—Virtual Strength “Fit for Duty;” (B UTA) 5-7 p.m.—Pick up Basketball

Daily activities include: 

May 16 – Pickup Volleyball, 5 p.m.

May 20 – Intramural softball begins (letters of intent available at the Fitness Center)

May 27 – May Fitness Month 5K Run/walk, 7 a.m., Fire Dept. Route

May 27 – May Fitness Month Racquetball Tournament, 5, single elimination

May 29 – May Fitness Month 5×5 Basketball Tournament, Fitness Center, 5 p.m.

For more information, visit the Fitness Center or call 951-655-2284.

FITNESS CENTER INCENTIVE PROGRAM

The March Fitness Center is sponsoring a May Incentive Program. Earn points as individuals or groups by participating in scheduled group classes. The top two individuals to reach the goal will receive medals while the top two groups or squadrons will receive trophies. Registration sheets are available at the front desk. Each WellBeats TM class is worth 50 points. VIBE, Stomp, TKO and Kinetics series are worth an additional 25 points. Goals are 700 points for 1st place and 600 points for 2nd place and must be reached by May 31. It is open to active military, Guard and Reserve, family members, retirees, DOD civilian employees and contractors. Class times are posted in the Beacon and available at www.MarchFSS.com.

TICKETS & TOURS   SPECIAL PROMOTIONS

— Medieval Times free Royalty Upgrade – Purchase tickets ($46 adult, $35 child) from the ITT office and receive a free Royalty Upgrade, which includes VIP seating, a commemorative program, a knight’s cheering banner and a behind the scenes DVD.

— Disney 3-Day Park Hopper Military Special – $130 per person, six tickets per person maximum purchase, valid until Oct 1, 2015, blackout dates apply.

— SeaWorld Waves of Honor Special – Free admission for active, Guard and Reserve members and up to three direct dependents annually.

Call the March ARB Information, Tickets & Tours office at 951-655-4123 for more details.  Full updated ticket discount prices available online at www.MarchFSS.com.

GRILL NIGHT AT SALLY’S ALLEY

Every Wednesday night starting at 4 p.m., Sally’s Alley is open for business with Grill Night. On the grill May 20 is half-pound 100 percent Angus beef cheeseburger with fixing’s and salad – $8.95. Sally’s Alley is also now open every Pre-UTA Thursday at 4 p.m. For more information, call them at 951-653-2121.

LEARN TO FLY AT AERO CLUB

The March Aero Club offers flight training (flying, private license, ground school, instrument training) at a very reasonable rate including a pay-as-you-go plan with zero down. Visit them in Hangar 355 on base or call 951-655-3875 for more information.

NORTON-MARCH REUNION

Former 452nd Air Mobility Wing commander, Tim Wrighton, announces the Norton-March reunion at March Field from June 18-20, 2015. Visit www.norton-marchaircrew.org to learn more and to register. Access from government computers may be limited, so you may have to go to the site from a computer that is not on the base network.

CONSTRUCTION AT CACTUS AVE & RIVERSIDE DR

The City of Moreno Valley has removed the “No Right Turn” sign at Cactus/Riverside (east bound) and will see how it goes. They warned that during construction, the turn radius is not enough for tractor trailer/delivery trucks and it will be a problem for those vehicles. Please have your delivery trucks use the Heacock/Meyers entrance to the area to avoid problems with the construction crew. If a problem arises with the vehicle traffic while the construction crew is relocating the traffic signal and installing traffic modifications at the Riverside/Cactus intersection the “No Right Turn” sign will be put up again and enforced. Hopefully this will make things easier for all while the street widening project is going on. If you have any questions contact the March Community Planner and Liaison at 951-655-2236.

March defenders are best in Air Force

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Staff Sgt Alfonso Gutierrez, installation patrolman, 452nd Security Forces Squadron, March Air Reserve Base, checks an ID card at the March main gate May 13, 2015. Gutierrez’s squadron was named the best SFS in the command for 2014 and has stepped up security since last week due to an increase in the threat level.

Today is National Peace Officer’s Memorial Day, which culminates National Police Week. It is only fitting that we recognize and congratulate the 452nd Security Forces Squadron, March Air Reserve Base, for being named the 2014 Air Force Outstanding Security Forces Air Force Reserve Command Unit.

The competition for the award was strong, but the March defenders had enough accomplishments last year to fill an entire Beacon issue and then some.

“Our squadron members have a lot on their plates, but they are professionals who do their jobs with excellence and integrity, always putting service before self,” said Maj. Ryan Robin, 452 SFS commander. “They take pride in their mission and it shows.”

With 281 strong, the unit provided support for more than 5.5 thousand personnel; $2.72 billion in aircraft; Headquarters, 4th Air Force and 17 mission partners, including Army, Marine, Navy and Air National Guard assets.

The team was responsible for several high-visibility details, including Presidential support missions, support to U.S. Speaker John Boehner, and Chief Master Sgt of the Air Force James A. Cody’s visit to the base.

With all the professionalism they display, their work often goes unnoticed.

Did you know they were responsible for identifying a person who had been barred from the base and notifying local authorities who subsequently arrested the suspect, preventing a possible shooting? They also blocked and detained pilots who were unauthorized to land at March Field, averting a possible threat to vital Air Force resources.

“We are pretty quiet about the service we provide,” said Robin. “March defenders live and breathe the Air Force Core Values and don’t expect anything in return.”

Providing a safe and secure environment here is only part of their mission. Many have traveled elsewhere to protect and serve.

Eighty nine March defenders deployed and forward deployed to four different locations throughout 2014.  During those deployments they secured more than $18.6 billion in assets, protected nearly 12,000 personnel, supported more than 10,000 sorties and at one location, they established force protection from the ground up.

Squadron members also hosted visiting security forces from Joint Base San Antonio here to provide the visitors with training in four vital areas—active shooter, flight experience, anti-terrorism and weapons qualification, as well as hosting a German officer as part of an exchange program.

In addition to helping fellow Airmen, the March defenders contribute their time and resources to local communities.

They have participated in the Youth Educational Motivation Program, Special Olympics Torch Run, Junior Reserve Officer Training Corps and Cub Scouts, as well as providing Thanksgiving Day meals to military families and homeless veterans.

Although many of the squadron’s members garnered individual awards and accomplishments, it is the outstanding teamwork that contributed to this award.

“The men and women who make up this squadron work hard to protect and serve and they humbly have earned this recognition,” Robin said. “We understand that if it were not for the support of March’s employees and the local community, we would not have received this award.”

Help available for those grieving loss of friend, loved one

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The death of a service member or family member can be a devastating experience, especially in our tight knit military community. Everybody is professionally or personally interrelated to everyone else, and at the end of the day, we all depend on one another to support the mission and each other. Yet whether the death of someone you know is unanticipated or expected, a major loss can leave you feeling disconnected or overwhelmed with emotions. You may also feel frustrated if you do not know the exact circumstances surrounding someone’s death, or unsure of how to reach out to those who are seriously impacted by this loss. 

If you haven’t experienced this type of grief before, or even if you have been previously exposed to death, it may help you to understand about typical grief reactions, the process of grief, and what you can do to start healing. Knowing more about what to be  prepared for and what to do can help bring you reassurance  and comfort during this difficult time, as there is nothing  easy about grieving a service member or a family member. After all, the finality of death ends a lifetime, not the relationship.

Responses to grief

Normal grief reactions are as unique as those who experience them and depend on many factors, such as, your personality, coping style, support structure, faith, and nature of the loss. After all, there is no typical response to loss, as there is no such thing as a typical loss, nor is there a defined timetable for grieving. However, there are common symptoms of grief that are specific to the grief process, and they don’t necessarily have to occur in any particular order:

Denial – You may have difficulty believing that the loss really happened or deny the truth because of the intense grief of losing a service member. “It can’t be true, this isn’t happening to me”. The disbelief and numbness may help you to maintain some normalcy and keep you from going into shock.

Anger – You might feel angry with a loved one or at the service member for dying and abandoning you, or angry with a higher power for taking him/her away from you or their family. “Why did they die, who is to blame?” You may be angry about the injustice you feel, even if it was no one’s fault.

Fear – You may feel anxious and insecure about facing life or the workplace without that person. It can trigger fears about your own mortality or about facing new responsibilities alone. You may be wondering, “How will my life be different?” because the future, as you knew it, may now be uncertain and the coinciding feelings can lead to panic attacks.

Guilt – You may feel guilty or regret the things you didn’t say or do, or wonder if you could have prevented someone’s death. “If only I had…” even if there was nothing more that you could have done. You may also have guilt about feeling relief if the person died after a long illness.

Depression – You may feel profound sadness, as it is the most widely experienced symptom of grief. You may also have feelings of despair, emptiness, and loneliness. You may be feeling like “I’m too sad to do anything,” and not be able to get out of bed or enjoy the  things that gave you a sense of purpose. Even at its worst and as awful as it feels, this depression should be temporary.

Acceptance – You will feel that you are adjusting to living in a world without the deceased, even if it is not with contentment. “I’m at peace with what happened.” This emotional state is marked with a sense of calm and is the result of having allowed yourself to experience each emotion as you feel it.

The key words here are “as you feel it”. The undercurrent of loss is never fully recognized until you lose someone you know, especially someone that you love. I know—I lived it myself.

My husband died 18 months ago, a seemingly healthy man. He was not “sick” or “old.” His heart just stopped. That was it! There was no warning or warning signs, and from one moment to the next, his lifetime was over! My planned future with him was also over.

Even though I took three weeks off from work, I still found myself living through the roller coaster of grief reactions when I returned to work. I also had difficulty concentrating, and my lack of patience with others was becoming obvious.

At the time, I was a social worker for the Army. I was not a stranger to tragedy, and every death notification I received at work had a story that would generate support and assistance to those affected. But my husband’s death was different. It was personal to me and I couldn’t cope in the same way that I did through supporting others in my job.    

I was perceived as a strong woman, and couldn’t share my vulnerable side at work; that really soft, loving, vulnerable side of me that was only safe to show at home around my husband and daughters.  I had to maintain that strong image due to my position at work. I was always keeping it all together or “doing fine” any time someone asked, yet the social worker inside of me knew that I needed to seek help, receive support and begin to feel better.

It was hard for me to accept help because other people always depended on me for guidance, not the other way around.  However, seeking help increased my credibility as a counselor and as a leader. Transparency was the beginning of the healing process, for feeling safe, and for helping others to feel safer.

My point is this—none of us are exempt from the impact of death or stress regardless of our military/civilian status. At the end of the day we are all human beings, and whether we admit it or not, we are all hoping to find ways to connect with others and feel completely accepted with all of our vulnerabilities, including our response to death.

It’s no secret that the single most important factor in healing from loss is having the support of other people.

As an Air Force family, we all have the responsibility to ensure that all Airmen are supported with resources and feel encouraged using them. So please accept the support that is offered or ask for assistance. Remember, you do not have to feel lonely or feel alone to carry the burden of grief by yourself.   

Recommendations for grief support

*Turn to family members, coworkers and friends – Reach out to the people who care about you, or allow them to support you. Tell them what you need, whether you just want to talk or have the company.

*Seek solace from your faith – Embrace the comfort of religious rituals for mourning or spiritual activities that have meaning to you, such as meditating, praying, or simply attending church. Contact your chaplain for spiritual support.

*Talk with a counselor or chaplain – If your grieving process is overwhelming, contact me (see Resources below) and/or seek a counselor that can help you overcome obstacles to bereavement and healing.

*Join a grief support group – Share your sorrow with others who have experienced the same type of grief. Grief can be lonely even if you have loved ones around.

*Take care of your physical and mental health – Try to exercise, sleep, eat nutritiously and drink plenty of fluids.

Resources

* Psychological Health Services, March ARB,

Elaine Valentine LCSW

2250 Dekay St., Rm 101

(951) 655-5097

Appointments are available during the week and most UTA’s. Walk-ins are welcomed.

*Military One Source

(800) 342-9647

*Psychological Health Advocacy Program (PHAP)

(888) 810-2400

*Resiliency Training,

AFRCWingmanToolkit.org

For more information contact Frank Pavone at 951-655-4551