Reach into your pocket. Go ahead and pull out everything in your front pockets.
What do you see in there? Keys, pocket knife, chap stick and a leash.
Thatâ€™s right. Not a cell phone, a digital leash, instantly connecting you to everyone. Your family, friends, coworkers and bosses are all a few short button presses from being all up in your business.
You canâ€™t escape it these days. Everyone has one, and they all expect you to be attached to your leash at all times. Heaven forbid you donâ€™t answer a phone call or reply to a text message within milliseconds.
Have you ever wanted to escape from the burden of that leash? I know I have quite often.
One of my favorite commercials shows a group of men travelling around in their pickup truck, constantly getting out checking their phones for reception. The plot twist in the end is that theyâ€™re trying to find somewhere they donâ€™t get reception. They are looking for a place to escape, and the company making the commercial claims to have the truck to get you there.
Too bad I drive a small sedan, no off road, no cell service adventures for me.
This isnâ€™t the first time Iâ€™ve written about my loathsome attitude toward modern electronic devices. Iâ€™m not a conspiracy theorist who thinks the government is keeping track of me through them, but I wouldnâ€™t put it past them to do so.
It seems to me, the people with the â€œsmartestâ€ phones are usually some of the dumbest people.
I live off base, clear on the other side of town, and damn near every day, some asshole nearly hits me, drives too slow, swerves all over the road or runs a red light because they canâ€™t take off their leashes long enough to get from point A to point B.
Others canâ€™t even walk a straight line because they are glued to the small screen of the latest â€œsmartâ€ phone.
Often, I canâ€™t make it through a head call, let alone a lunch break without my phone going off. A man canâ€™t even pee in peace anymore. What is this world coming to!?
I think Iâ€™m going to leave my phone at home for a weekend, and get out and go camping. I think that thing is probably giving me testicular cancer from being in my pocket all the time anyway.