April 12, 2012

Opinion: My cell phone: Digital Leash

Cpl. Aaron Diamant
Desert Warrior Staff

Reach into your pocket. Go ahead and pull out everything in your front pockets.

What do you see in there? Keys, pocket knife, chap stick and a leash.

That’s right. Not a cell phone, a digital leash, instantly connecting you to everyone. Your family, friends, coworkers and bosses are all a few short button presses from being all up in your business.

You can’t escape it these days. Everyone has one, and they all expect you to be attached to your leash at all times. Heaven forbid you don’t answer a phone call or reply to a text message within milliseconds.

Have you ever wanted to escape from the burden of that leash? I know I have quite often.

One of my favorite commercials shows a group of men travelling around in their pickup truck, constantly getting out checking their phones for reception. The plot twist in the end is that they’re trying to find somewhere they don’t get reception. They are looking for a place to escape, and the company making the commercial claims to have the truck to get you there.

Too bad I drive a small sedan, no off road, no cell service adventures for me.

This isn’t the first time I’ve written about my loathsome attitude toward modern electronic devices. I’m not a conspiracy theorist who thinks the government is keeping track of me through them, but I wouldn’t put it past them to do so.

It seems to me, the people with the “smartest” phones are usually some of the dumbest people.

I live off base, clear on the other side of town, and damn near every day, some asshole nearly hits me, drives too slow, swerves all over the road or runs a red light because they can’t take off their leashes long enough to get from point A to point B.

Others can’t even walk a straight line because they are glued to the small screen of the latest “smart” phone.

Often, I can’t make it through a head call, let alone a lunch break without my phone going off. A man can’t even pee in peace anymore. What is this world coming to!?

I think I’m going to leave my phone at home for a weekend, and get out and go camping. I think that thing is probably giving me testicular cancer from being in my pocket all the time anyway.

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