June 7, 2012

Movie Review: Battleship

Lance Cpl. Sean Dennison
Desert Warrior Staff

I remember playing the game Battleship as a kid with my cousins. This would happen every family function up until we were about ten. Birthdays, holidays, funerals, Battleship was the only constant in our celebrations.

The thing is, my violent cousins would always win. And by win I mean they would look at my battle map and if I was winning, punch me in the face or if I was losing, punch me in the face. I was successful in pushing them down the stairs a few times, but the inevitable plastic showdown was a lose-lose situation.

Which is exactly how this movie feels.

Do I even need to go into detail as to how terrible this film is? Was Rihanna in her acting debut — and don’t even bring up whatever cameos she’s already made — not enough of a tip off?

Anyway, the acting is abysmal (bless them, they try though), the special effects are competent but in this day and age I expect more bang for my buck; a movie crosses the line from bad to unwatchable if even a military discount seems like a waste of an evening.The plot is…well you already know about the plot. I mean, how does Peter Berg go from Friday Night Lights, one of the most meaningful coming of age stories for my generation, to explosive pulp such as this?

Oh right, Hancock.

On behalf of America, I apologize, MCAS Sailors.

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