Commentary

November 1, 2013

Care for others but care for yourself

Chaplain (Capt.) James Taylor III
14th Flying Training Wing chaplain

COLUMBUS AIR FORCE BASE, Miss. — April 4, 2008, my sister awoke for the last time to a world that had not always treated her with kindness.

We were two weeks shy of her 31st birthday, and six weeks shy of a family wedding … my wedding. April 4 would be the last day I would see her. It would be the last day her six sons would see her.

In the wake of what had become a lifetime of tragedies, she left home with a couple bottles of pills, drove to a nearby farm and called her oldest son to give him a consolation goodbye. “I have nothing left to give,” she told him. There, alone in the dark, she fell to sleep for the last time.

If you are reading this, I can all but guarantee that you too have come to know the sting of such sorrow. Most have been impacted by suicide. Whether it was a family member, a high school friend, a fellow service member, or whether you’ve contemplated in your darkest moments of despair such a frightening decision. Unfortunately, suicide’s past has been all too familiar, and suicide’s future will continue to cause pain and sorrow. However, there are ways we can join together and resource ourselves to quell suicide’s ugly grasp. By raising awareness and equipping ourselves to combat suicide, lives can and will be saved. With that, I submit three initial priorities to guide our deliberations about how we care for ourselves and care for others.

  1. Learn to monitor your own mental, communal, familial and spiritual resiliency.
  2. Enhance the quality of social, spiritual and mental health opportunities for teens and children.
  3. Look for indicators of suicidal intent in others.

Priority No. 1 is self-care. We all know that the second United States Air Force’s core values is “Service Before Self.” We are called to a life of servant leadership, where we place the needs of others before our own, but to do so at the expense of neglecting our own needs proves to be dangerous. An example that highlights the importance of self-care is found when a flight attendant communicates, “In the unlikely event of an emergency … first put your oxygen mask on before helping others.” If you do not practice self-care, you will not be able to consistently care for others. Don’t ever apologize or feel guilty about taking care of yourself.

Improving community resources (our second priority) helps parents to address the needs of youths before they become candidates for suicidal behavior. These community resources develop a child’s innate joys and strengths, which eventually leads to greater resiliency and happiness. Without these avenues, a child’s inner resources might remain untapped. Therapy, along with social and spiritual activities, cannot guarantee an absence of suicidal ideations, but they can help a child cope with life’s struggles. My hope is that we all might become fosterers of growth, hope, and healing for our little ones.

Priority No. 3 is about knowing people. Pay attention to their nonverbal behaviors, their anxieties, stressors, statements, joys and fears. Although some suicides will come suddenly, many follow behaviors and ideations that in hindsight were warning signs that had presented themselves. Proceed by caring for people in such a way that grants permission for back and forth and life-saving conversations when needed.

This is not an exhaustive list. These are just a few commitments I’m making. I’m making them to honor people like my sister, Melissa, and I’m making them to know that I can better care for incredible Airmen like you. I hope you’ll do the same for me.




All of this week's top headlines to your email every Friday.


 
 

 
U.S. Air Force photo by Staff Sgt. Jack Sanders

Patches lead from front: Weapons system experts graduate from USAFWS

U.S. Air Force photo by Staff Sgt. Jack Sanders Gen. Hawk Carlisle, commander of Air Combat Command, addresses graduates of the U.S. Air Force Weapons School class 14B Dec. 13 at the Flamingo Las Vegas Hotel and Casino. As the ...
 
 
U.S. Air Force photo by Senior Airman Timothy Young

Chaplains help build relationships

U.S. Air Force photo by Senior Airman Timothy Young Chaplain (Capt.) Jason Klodnicki, a 99th Air Base Wing chaplain, helps coworkers find a solution to their problems during a counseling session at Nellis Air Force Base, Nev., ...
 
 

New commander addresses Airmen of 12th Air Force

To all of the 12th Air Force community, Happy holidays! My wife Kristan, my three children, and I are excited to join this outstanding 12th Air Force community. I cannot adequately express how honored and humbled I feel to join this community as the commander. I certainly appreciate the exceptional efforts of General and Mrs....
 

 

COMACC lands at Nellis for USAFWS graduation

U.S. Air Force photo by Senior Airman Thomas Spangler Gen. Hawk Carlisle, Air Combat Command commander, is greeted by, and talks with, Gen. Jay Silveria, U.S. Air Force Warfare Center commander, after arriving at Nellis Air Force Base, Nev., Dec. 11. Carlisle attended the U.S. Air Force Weapons School graduation ceremony as the guest speaker.
 
 
ammos

AMMOS CSC class 15A graduates

U.S. Air Force photo by Senior Airman Thomas Spangler Maj. Jesse Hasenkampf (center), commander of the 159th Maintenance Squadron from Naval Air Station Joint Reserve Base New Orleans, La., is named the distinguished graduate o...
 
 

Healthy, productive ways to cope with holiday stress

NELLIS AIR FORCE BASE, Nev. — As the holiday season quickly approaches, many Airmen become stressed when they try to figure out how to deal with visiting families, preparing large meals and buying gifts for loved ones. For others, stress can manifest because this could be their first time away from family during the holidays. Different...
 




0 Comments


Be the first to comment!


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>


Directory powered by Business Directory Plugin