For many of the early years of the war and strife-torn early 21st century, mothers who consoled other mothers met by chance at military funerals for troops killed in the wars that followed the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11, 2001.

That was how it went for Colleen Crowley-Goodman. She had a son in the Air Force, so when there was a funeral for a local soldier, Ryan Clark, she attended. She met Clark’s grieving mother.

She also encountered for the first time the local chapter of a national organization of military family members, the Blue Star Mothers. That was in 2006 and she has been participating with them ever since, even after her son left the Air Force after overseas deployments and eight years of honorable service.

After his departure from the active Air Force, “He presented me with his uniform, with all the medals on it, and said, ‘This is yours Mom, for all the years you served with me.’”

That is most often how close the bond is between adult children in service and the mothers that send them off to serve.

You may have seen these women at the Antelope Valley Fair, sitting at table with patriotic merchandise for sale at prices both modest and fair. They are fundraising for the Blue Star Mothers.

Also, they can be found on the last Friday of the month at Vince’s Pasta and Pizza on Avenue L at the portal to Quartz Hill, or on a Saturday morning in front of Smart and Final, hoping people will put something in the jar, or buy something for the troops serving at home and abroad.

None of the fundraising is for them. It is for the sons and daughters on active service, and the Blue Star Mothers of the Antelope Valley Chapter 14 are their mothers, wherever those sons and daughters might be serving worldwide.

This past week, at Halley-Olsen-Murphy, a Lancaster memorial services home that has a large meeting space, the war veterans of Veterans of Foreign Wars Post 3000 hosted a luncheon to honor the Blue Star Mothers of the Antelope Valley. They were also supported by the memorial home’s Managing Director, Mark Stanfield, and luncheon support from Firehouse Subs. That’s how it works in a veteran-friendly community.

The Blue Star Mothers of the Antelope Valley have been serving, and sharing together, for 18 years, noted Kathleen Crowley-Staats, mother of a Marine and a Navy sailor. Along with her sister, Colleen Goodman, the two have held most of the board posts in the small but mighty organization.

“I actually became a Blue Star Mother the day my son Jason graduated boot camp in the Air Force, and I held his face in my hands, and said ‘You’re not my baby any more,’” Colleen Goodman said.

Jessica Mellick, current Chapter 14 president, recalled moving to the Antelope Valley in 2017 with teenaged sons. The three of them were united in their enchantment with “Star Wars,” and that meant heading out to the Los Angeles County Air Show in 2019 to see what real warrior pilots looked like.

At the air show, one of the sons started talking with pilots and within a short time was in the Air Force recruiter’s office.

“It happened so fast,” Mellick said. “I wasn’t prepared. I teared up,” she said, tearing up. “I also had never felt such pride.”

Through her tears, which did not relent, she found the Blue Star Mothers organization and transformed her maternal anguish into action. “It was a packing party,” she said.

The group raises funds to send out hundreds of packages, at least twice a year. The packages contain those extra somethings, cookies, toiletries, snacks, the things that make being away from home seem not so far away.

Additionally, Mellick said the group is raising funds to pay for headstones at historic Lancaster Cemetery, where about 70 veterans of wars ranging from World War I through the Korean War are without decoration. The group hopes to provide the cemetery with one or two headstones a year for the veterans’ graves that need them.

Ron Guyadeen, commanding the Honor Guard of VFW 3000 commended his battle sister, Gulf War sailor Laura Anners Smith, for helping organize the event to recognize a group that does nothing for the recognition, but does everything for the sons and daughters in service. The Honor Guard presented arms and saluted the group being recognized.

The VFW Honor Guard, in ceremonial uniform, presented the colors and saluted the mothers for their service.

As Honor Guard commander, Guyadeen also presented a Certificate of Appreciation to another veterans’ advocate and Air Force mother, Nayda Fugee, and her husband, Air Force veteran Ed Fugee. Guyadeen recognized the couple for all the assistance provided for organizing a Veterans Outreach event at Post 3000 last year.

The event, he said, served 200 veterans in receiving the “compensation, entitlements and benefits they earned through service to the nation.”

Information about the group and when it meets can be found on Facebook at Antelope Valley Blue Star Mothers Chapter 14.

Editor’s note: Dennis Anderson is a licensed clinical social worker at High Desert Medical Group who deployed with National Guard to Iraq to cover the war for Editor & Publisher magazine and regional press. An Army paratrooper veteran, he serves as Los Angeles County Supervisor Kathryn Barger’s appointee on the Los Angeles County Veterans Advisory Commission.