Like many new years, 2020 started on a hopeful note. The number itself was inspiring — suggested optimal clarity and sharpness of vision. However, since the COVID-19 pandemic is still with us (and civil unrest has changed daily life) 2021 is really testing our resilience. Becoming resilient starts with the realization that the adversity you experience — any pain, discrimination, or challenge — can be converted into powerful fuel that can actually bring opportunity. According to the Christian Moore dictionary, there are two definitions of adversity. First: “A state or instance of distress, calamity, hardship, or affliction.” Second: “Fuel; energy; your best friend.” That second definition may seem odd, but I’m about to reframe the way you see your problems and hopefully bring tremendous light into your life.
Resilience … this process of using adversity as fuel, has fundamentally changed my life. I truly feel hope is always alive, because absolutely everyone can benefit from resilience. But, before we get ahead of ourselves, let’s also define resilience. “Resilience is the ability to bounce back when you have every reason to shut down — but you fight on! Resilient people have both tapped and untapped reserves, enabling them to overcome and thrive as they face the setbacks, challenges, and fears of daily life,” according to the Christian Moore dictionary.
Second only to love, resilience is life’s most important principle. Resilience enables you to deal with the day-to-day grind — the pain and challenges of life. It will give you the tools to cope and be normal. But, we still don’t know what the “new normal” will look like in 2021. In many ways, the new normal will have us mourning for lives, moments and opportunities lost. Hopefully, in other ways, the new normal will bring with it a new appreciation for connection, the freedom to do things we enjoy, human touch and even a better understanding of technology. We hope that the new normal will be filled with hope for equality, empathy and dialogue about what connects us to overcome that which divides us. While we cannot always prevent or remove suffering and pain, we can practice empathy by listening for understanding rather than agreement. We can seek to have uncomfortable conversations that lead to understanding and love. We can work to find our own voice and then use our voice to cultivate and celebrate the resilient people in our communities.
Resilience showed me how my problems — even my very worst problems — could become my greatest resource. If we are able to reframe our challenges and recognize them as fuel, we can operate like a refinery — channeling the emotion generated out of something negative like pain or even something positive like love — and turning it into fuel that can be used to propel us forward.
Once you see how resilience works, your problems can become a never-ending source of fuel. Pain can equal power. Everyone has emotions — good and bad — that they carry around with them like a big bucket of extra parts. Positive emotions — feelings you get from being loved, being heard, feeling gratitude, experiencing two-way communication and connection — can generate fuel. Negative emotions are equally powerful, and potential fuel exits from feelings that accompany depression, anxiety, disappointment, anger, being disrespected, and other painful emotions. When you have your resilience breakthrough, you realize that the fuel is there. You learn how to access the fuel and are able to access it quickly. Once you can do that, you are flying high and on the road to a long-term resilient life.
When I look at the principles highlighted, they are undoubtedly interconnected — hope drives resiliency and recovery, and resiliency and recovery build hope. Let us remind one another that, although hope can be hard work, believing in recovery and fostering resilience in the face of serious challenges has the ability to bring about lasting positive change. So, let me offer an opportunity for anyone to do just that, by lifting each other up and providing inspiration by becoming a Resilience Trainer Assistant (RTA). Let us work together in a way that unites individuals by attending a three-day training called Comprehensive Airmen Fitness (CAF). During this training, you’ll learn skills that transform pain into powerful and resilient sources, recognize that the path forward for those struggling with life stress, and can spark conversations and increase awareness. If you are interested in attending CAF training and becoming an RTA, please email Sharon Kozak at sharon.kozak@us.af.mil.